Just Give Me The Penis

crack monkey: i inspire VAGUE

butterfly: well that part, my dear, i don't think is just you
it's become a real guy thing

crack monkey: well, yeah

butterfly: our roles have switched.
now just give me a penis to play with and i would be ok with it
until then, not cool

crack monkey: totally!

butterfly: i can't believe i just said that

crack monkey: hello, i'd like to switch pants back, now
unless you're handing over the penis. then i'll keep the man pants

butterfly: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crack monkey: about to train someone on my computer. no penis talk.

Yer Mama's Moat

butterfly: you wanna walk the lake tonight? lmao
crack monkey: oh, so totally would. if not for the erm...RAIN
butterfly: hehehe i think we might need a mote
crack monkey: a dust mote? or a moat?
lol
butterfly: i keel you
crack monkey: LOL
butterfly: yer mama's moat
crack monkey: laughing so hard
butterfly: vrrrrrrrt
crack monkey: i just pictured you stepping on a dust mote to crossa river
butterfly: oh, i crossa tha river
crack monkey: and missa your house

Lost Our Marbles....Quite Literally

crack monkey: LOL, if some douche won't leave us alone... "sorry, i have to leave. going kayaking early in the morning. but my friend *butterfly* here is staying until the bar closes down. "
butterfly: uhmmm.
i will slash your tires
crack monkey: i will hide my car
butterfly: i will find it with my spidey senses
crack monkey: i keel you
butterfly: no cuz i will run and hide
crack monkey: then i will find YOU with MY spidey senses
butterfly: and get under my invisibility cloak that i borrow from HP
muahahaha
crack monkey: along with your vibrating broom?
butterfly: you never find me
yes, that too
crack monkey: jesus we're silly
i wuvers you.
butterfly: i wuvers you too. we have to be silly in order to not slit our wrists. we would have a long time ago.
ha
crack monkey: amen, sister *butterfly's last name*
butterfly: lol i just got a flash of sister act
whoopie goldberg
wheeeeeeee
crack monkey: i will follow him
butterfly: lol
crack monkey: follow him where ever he may go....
there isn't an ocean too deeep
a mountain so high it can keep
keep me away
away from his looooove
butterfly: i ain't followin NO BODY. if they want me, they can follow MY happy ass. i'm done. gonna be a wall of non-emotion.
crack monkey: yeah, eff the lot of that. the only thing i will follow now is chocolate
butterfly: and kellan lutz
crack monkey: mmmmmmmm
i will follow abs
follow abs where ever they may go...
butterfly: HAHAHAHA oh my god. i almost peed myself.
i am dying over here

Eat A *huh?*

crackmonkey: i have the overwhelming urge to tell someone to eat a cock today

Lo-cal

crackmonkey : i'm trying to keep it local, like my produce. ;)

Vincenzo or Bob?

butterfly: i just got a friend request from "vincenzo piazza"
can't stop laughing
and he totally looks like a skinny tall goober american
crack monkey: i'm sure his real name is bob smith, from podunk arkansas

Neener Neener

crack monkey: yeah. it's at the petty revenge stage
the neener neener stage
the going to take home the next guy i see stage
and then facebook post about it stage
butterfly: lol
sorry i know that wasn't really meant to be funny
but it kinda is.
crack monkey: oh, it's totally funny